


and if you look outside you'll see disintegrating trees

by debonairnightmare



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, BIG SPOILERS for episode 103, Fjord Has Feelings (Critical Role), Fjord Needs a Hug (Critical Role), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Overuse of italics, but at what cost, but if u want to be consumed by hubris then thats cool too ig, dont read if u dont want anything past e90 ig spoiled for u, god love like you is THE fjorclay bop HONESTLY, he is gonna pay for my therapy, here we are, i am high on the Good Teahaw Content, i started this after the stream, i tried really hard to hit 1000 words but its 5am and really what do you want from me, it has been like ten minutes since the episode end and we're zooming boys, listen to the shitty recorder version of my heart will go on while reading, matthew fucking mercer, oH MY GOD IM SHAKING, sPOILERS HOLY SHIT ARE THERE SPOILERS, someone get on that, that episode was a ride and a half good lord, that shit hurted, the final moments of episode 103 (or at least how i choose to remember it), the rest of the bois are mentioned but theyre not super important, the teahaw shippers have eaten well this night, this is unedited and im sensitive okay, went into a writing frenzy for two hours, why hasnt anyone written a titanic au fjorclay fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25483618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debonairnightmare/pseuds/debonairnightmare
Summary: "FJUCK" is the title of the google doc i wrote this on i will not be elaborating.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay & Fjord, Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 13
Kudos: 97





	and if you look outside you'll see disintegrating trees

**Author's Note:**

> i am shaken. i am horrified. matthew mercer give me back my boy.
> 
> side note: this dialogue is all stuff that was actually said in the stream so do with that what you will.

“Where the fuck is he going?” Fjord watched as Caduceus disappeared into the tunnel, the torch blooms opening for him as he vanished into Vokodo’s lair, beginning to swim down towards the orange glow after the cleric.

Thanking Melora and every other god he could think of that he had grown up in the water, he swam down after Caduceus, calling out to him every few seconds.

Caduceus didn’t answer.

(Fjord remembered the last time they had visited Vokodo; his friends pushing past him in the tunnel, the frantic look they had trying to reach the sea creature’s lair. Fjord wasn’t the smartest man in their group, but he knew a similarity when he saw one.)

“Stop,” Fjord reached out to Caduceus, lacing his word with magic. The cleric stopped dead in his tracks, looking back to him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He grabbed the cleric’s face, looking into his eyes, hoping to find some recognition that this was a  _ bad idea _ .

Caduceus struggled, trying to pull away, “I have to go that way. It’s very important.”

“N- Stop! Wait. Wait,” Fjord grabbed the cleric as he pulled away, no longer held by Fjord’s order. Twisting his head back towards the entrance to the tunnel he yelled, “Can someone come fucking help me?”

He heard Caduceus muttering under his breath as his vision began to darken and blur. Instinctively, he let go of Cad, the firbolg desperately swimming away as Fjord's hands weaved the somatic components of a  _ Counterspell _ .

Catching up, Fjord latched back onto the firbolg like a barnacle, his arms encircling Caduceus’ thin frame as he kicked at the water, “Why are you  _ doing  _ this, this is  _ ridiculous! _ ”

“I gotta go there.”

“Nothing but danger lies ahead!” Fjord held tighter, “ _ Stop fighting me! _ ”

“I gotta- I gotta go there.”

_ Go on,  _ a familiar, screechy voice echoed in his head,  _ burn a couple more spells _ .

If he had to, he would. He'd exhaust every capability and use every spell he had if it meant Caduceus was safe.

Looking back to the entrance and back to Cad, Fjord began to swim backwards with the firbolg in tow.

20 more feet.

This was  _ his  _ cleric .

15 more feet.

He had saved  _ him _ .

10 more feet.

He had picked Fjord up in battle more times than he could count.

5 more feet.

He had brought Fjord back from the  _ dead _ , even when it went against everything he had ever been taught.

They were at the entrance of the tunnel now.

_ He fought very hard for you when you were down _ , Caleb’s words came back to Fjord as Caduceus whispered a familiar incantation and his vision went dark.

Panicking, Fjord squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on Caduceus. Soft pink hair. Green beetle armour. Kind smile.  _ Please swim back to the group. _

“Retreat.” Last spell slot.  _ Please, Melora, let this work. Don’t fucking make me lose him. Please. _

Caduceus kept swimming, and Fjord, like the coward he was, ran away.

He broke the surface seconds later, blind and flailing, “Caduceus is going forward,” he yelled, turning in the water to try and find where the rest of the Nein were, “he’s being pulled.”

“What?”

“ _ Get in here! _ ” They were being too  _ slow _ .

“What?”

“What?”

“ _ What? _ ”

Jester and Nott’s voices sounded in front of him, Caleb’s reaching his ears shortly after, “Everybody in the pool.”

Too fucking slow. They were all too slow and Caduceus was going to die down there and Fjord wouldn’t be there to save him and Vokodo was going to  _ take his cleric because he couldn’t fight off a fucking Blindness spell. _

“ _ NOW! _ ” Fjord’s voice sounded almost foreign to his own ears. He wasn’t sure if he had ever been this angry before. This scared.

Finally he heard the splashes of people jumping into the pool. Turning to his right as the rest of the party swam closer, he began recounting what had happened in the tunnels, “I can’t see,” his voice was absolutely  _ not shaking _ , “He-he went down, through the tunnel. Someone go get him,” he swallowed, “I’m… useless.”

Another person approached from his left, “He blinded me!” Fjord kicked at the water frustratedly. Caduceus, the cleric,  _ his cleric _ , was down in a fucking tentacle monster’s lair alone and he was  _ useless _ like this.

Fortunately the person on his left, probably Vilya, touched his shoulder and the world around him returned. He blinked once and waited for his vision to focus on the Nein, who were swimming down towards the tunnel Caduceus had vanished into, Beau in the lead. Craning to face Vilya, he shot her a humourless smile, “Oh, good! Can you give me my spell slots back?”

“I’m afraid I cannot.”

Fjord exhaled sharply, ducking below the water to follow his friends into the tunnel that had taken their,  _ his _ , cleric.

He was going to get Caduceus back.

That was _his_ _fucking cleric._

**Author's Note:**

> stay sexy oh god oh fuck. fjord gO GET YOUR BOY. GOD.
> 
> i am living the life of a gremlin. i finished the episode, left the stream, and immediately began to write this. what you have just read is my 2-5AM ramble of a fic and i am nOT OKAY.
> 
> im really clowning myself for when cad just fuckinh Dies next week.
> 
> also i PROMISE im working on the other series thing but u guys also have to know i?? dont actually watch or read bnha?? so its nice to have a little break once in a while.


End file.
